15 Things I Learned About Life at Liberty University

1. It is important to care about politics. It is more important to know some Bible verses that declare how unimportant politics are if your guy loses.
2. Asking a girl out on a date is offensive unless you have been going out with her for two months.
3. Getting into a life of crime and then having an awesome redemption experience is a viable way of breaking into the Christian public speaking circuit.
4. Wearing a collared shirt or hooded sweatshirt to class prepares you to dress for the business world.
5. Resident Assistants are liars (If they properly do their jobs).
6. Your roommate steals your food, don’t kid yourself.
7. Vests and skinny jeans are to guitar players as coffee and Apple products are to photographers.
8. It is necessary to complain and rebel against curfew, even if you are tired at 10:00 pm.
9. If you are planning to have three kids, at least one of them better be adopted from a foreign country.
10. Moist Astroturf, a ski slope does not make; no matter how white it may be.
11. A Calvinist and an Arminian cannot date. This also applies to premillenialists and amillenialists. (If you aren’t sure what those are, you are probably going to be okay.)
12. Be prepared to have your eternal assurance questioned if you aren’t sure about the death penalty.
13. Snow or even very cold rain is deadly in any amount.
14. An inside joke can outlast every one of the people who were originally involved.
15. “If it’s Christian, it should be better…” and/or more expensive.

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